


tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold

by rosyasteria



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Dream Team SMP Spoilers, Emotional Hurt, God technoblade, Hurt No Comfort, Kid TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Kid Wilbur Soot, Mentioned Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Post-Betrayal, Post-Canon, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Stop Hurting Technoblade, Technoblade Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Trust Issues, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:49:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28611621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosyasteria/pseuds/rosyasteria
Summary: Technoblade cared. But in the end it just fucked him over.For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'.
Relationships: Ranboo & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 9
Kudos: 569
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold

Technoblade _cared_. It was so easy to paint him with the face of 'villain' so no one saw him as anything else. he was feared, respected, but never loved, never appreciated nor cared for. the only person to even express those emotions genuinely towards Techno was Phil. Philza; the man who Techno trusted above all else, the one person he couldn't live without under any circumstance. Phil was vicious in a different way to Techno. where Techno was all fire and rage and laughter, Phil was calm and serene and _dangerous_. but more than anything Phil was _good_.

The bond they formed in building the Antarctic Empire was unbreakable, forged in blood and war, the two war-torn men finding solace in each-other's company and making sure neither had to face their troubles alone. Techno had set up base with Phil once their escapades with the Empire had concluded. Phil had settled, found himself a partner, Kristin, a feisty travelling warrior from far South in the desert who sought refuge at their small cottage as she moved up North. Phil was immediately enamoured with her, and she ended up staying with them permanently as opposed to the week she'd asked for. While Phil was swooning she'd spar with Techno, the two maintaining their muscled forms. She didn't bat an eye at Phil's black wings nor Techno's shapeshifting in and put of pig form. She took it in stride, even showing the two of them how she could harden her skin to metal. The three of them were a little strange but they seemed to flock together, and if that meant safety then they didn't want it any other way. After their first year she fell pregnant, eventually giving birth to Wilbur, a curly brunette boy who liked to nap in Techno's too-big, too-strong arms. Every time the child wanted to be held by him he was so scared, so apprehensive. He _cared._ A few years after Wilbur came Theseus (Techno's choice of name). He was louder than Wilbur and far more annoying, but Techno cared for him nonetheless. Theseus was nicknamed Tommy for ease of name-calling, but Techno never used the nickname. He was their godfather (literally) and despite their grubby little fingers he _cared_. 

Techno remembered being called to Pogtopia like it was yesterday. He remembered appearing at the spawn point and being guided through dense forest at night by the kid he watched grow up on a skeleton horse. Things had changed, he could feel it in the air. Tommy and Wilbur had never sent letters home, not even a postcard. They'd left Techno, Phil, and Kristin at stupidly young ages seeking success and adventure, and for years their carers had no indication whether they even survived their first night away from home. If they weren't his godchildren he would've left them to die for being so irresponsible, but they _were_ , so of course he went to help them, he wanted to make sure they were safe, that they were eating well and taking care of one another. He saw chaos in Wilbur's eyes similar to his own, and fear in Tommy's. In hindsight he shouldn't have taken advantage of Wilbur to push his anarchy agenda but if he was to do some soul-searching he'd realise that he was worried what extent Wilbur would go to in order to get what he wanted. it worried him to think that Wilbur adopted too many of the worse traits from Techno growing up. There was a nagging thought in the back of his head sometimes that made him think it was his fault, his burden that Wilbur lost his mind and forced his father to end his life in such a vicious manner. And Tommy. Tommy had grown so much since he left home at 17, Wilbur at 21. Tommy looked on-edge constantly, as if someone would jump out of the shadows and gut him. Techno knew the feeling, and worried, so he stuck by Tommy, bringing him out of his shell more by telling him about their improved potato farm, joking as he covered the cavern with diamond blocks and proceeded to get stuck. but then Wilbur got worse. With the war came Tommy's downfall, even more so Wilbur's. By the time Phil had intervened it was too late. Tommy had become blinded by those he'd surrounded himself with in the time he'd been neglecting his family. It irked Techno, and he said his piece. He told Tommy of his namesake, and the myth it came from, of how Theseus was blinded by his own hero complex, how heroes don't win in reality, how good things don't happen to them, how Tommy needed to open his eyes to prevent that from happening. Whatever had happened to Tommy during his time away from home had ruined him. He was infallibly optimistic, stupidly so, and in not listening proved to Techno that he needed to learn a lesson. So he spawned the Withers. He didn't aim to kill Tommy even with the line: 'You want to be a hero Tommy? Then _die_ like one!', there were far too many people opposing the Withers to cause any more damage than the explosions, but Techno hoped Tommy learned that he couldn't save everyone. It was glaringly unrealistic, and Techno cared for him and sincerely hoped he'd change his mindset to one that wouldn't get him in so much trouble and cause him so much pain all the time.

For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'. The voices in his head always called for violence, but this was different. They had been silent during his time in Pogtopia. He'd been used. Tommy and Wilbur had grown up with him being a carer, and protector, and then treat him like a tool to be used. Techno was his own person with his own feelings, his own wants, his own bonds and memories, and Wilbur and Tommy disregarded that in favour of winning some fight Techno had no stakes in. Of course he took part, fighting and war was in his blood, but never once did he feel as if he belonged in that environment, and in finishing the fight and leaving for his base with Phil, he made his mind up that he didn't like being treated like an object, no-one would.

Post-War, Techno spent hours not sleeping in order to help Phil recover his wings. He'd protected Wilbur from his own demise but became his murderer in the end. At that time Techno had wondered if Wilbur, had he still been alive, could've been redeemed. Maybe so, maybe not, it was too late to know now.

Phil had to leave Techno's side more often than not to keep up appearances with the people of L'Manburg. That didn't make Techno any less worried for him, he'd much rather be by his side.

When Techno abandoned his old base and relocated to the Arctic, back to his favoured terrain, he went into retirement. The voices in his head were quieter now, quelled with the repetitive motions of turtle farming and bee watching. Techno found himself sewing new outfits for himself and Phil out of boredom, and if he made a matching one for Tommy he didn't acknowledge it, he just shoved it into a barrel in his bedroom to vehemently forget it existed in the first place.

When the Butcher Army came for him he felt an attachment to those glaring him down. Somehow, he sympathised with them. For one of the first times in his long life he saw himself in these dumb kids. They were dressed up like toy soldiers, in armour two sizes too big and so heavy that their shoulders sagged with the weight. So he warned them. He begged them to leave him be, let him live in retirement in peace, and that he'd leave L'Manburg be as long as they leave his land. He was too far for their stupid laws to even affect him, their policies had no jurisdiction over what he was or wasn't guilty for, and yet somehow deep down in his heart as they wielded axes in his face, he _cared_ for these kids. Would he fight them if they provoked him and didn't heed his words? Absolutely. He'd beat them into the ground until they were nothing but a red mess but that didn't mean he didn't care. The layman's definition of 'caring' is to love, to protect, to worry. Techno's version of 'caring' is to warn, to alert, to teach so past mistakes won't be repeated. He warned the Butcher Army what they were running into and that they could avoid it, that they could live in peace in their homes above the crater knowing Technoblade, the Blood God, wasn't coming to murder them in their sleep, but they laughed in his face. So he taught them a lesson.

Technoblade never dies, and if he warns you, heed it, or face the consequences.

Ranboo was a strange child. He barely took part in the whole Butcher Army thing, and afterwards he visited Techno's cottage _alone_ , something Techno was fairly sure no one would ever think of doing. Techno sort of admired his guts. He was one of the only other hybrids on the SMP, half Enderman half something he couldn't put his finger on. He gave Techno his armour back, and explained how his alliance and trust of Phil also extended to Techno, and that he would be on his way. Techno saw potential in the kid, and vowed to himself that whatever happened, he would leave Ranboo out of it.

In taking Tommy in, fresh from his exile and incredibly unstable and obviously having issues with his own opinions and feelings, Techno felt as if the kid was finally learning. Tommy was raw in the way an open wound was. He needed a break from being smothered, so Techno gave him his space and freedom, but gentle help and healing worked wonders, He didn't press Tommy to talk about his trauma, since Tommy could've snapped and that was the last thing either of them needed. He dug out the uniform he'd sown all that time ago, and relished in the pride he felt when Tommy immediately put it on. The ratty red neckerchief stayed around his neck, as singed and dirty as it was, though. As time went on, Techno started to care more about Tommy, as if they were back at their old cottage with Phil, Kristin, and Wilbur. Techno started to feel as if Tommy really understood what went wrong back in L'Manburg, and their plans to destroy it grew. Techno still felt as if Tommy was avoiding the main cause of his trauma, the main cause being the wars he was forced to fight in at such a young age. Techno went through much the same at his age, but he was a God, so he learned to deal with those things differently, and there was no doubt in Techno's mind that Tommy didn't have access to those same resources Techno did. So he gave Tommy an out. Told him he could join him in destroying L'Manburg but he could sit it out, choose to be blind to it. He openly told Tommy he saw him as a genuine friend, someone he trusted and would take care of, because he did, he would. Techno cared, and Tommy took advantage of it.

Techno would be blatantly lying if he said he wasn't hurt by Tommy's betrayal. That's what it was, in the end. Betrayal.

Techno had been nothing but open and honest with Tommy. He'd welcomed him into his home, mined extensively for netherite to make him gear and weapons to assure his safety no matter what they'd faced in their time together. Techno found himself attached to the now adult Tommy that stumbled into his care. He told him everything he was planning out of trust, he boasted to Phil how proud he was that Tommy was growing and learning like he should have years ago, but Tommy betrayed that trust. When Techno said to everyone at the rubble of the Community House that he would've fought everyone to ensure Tommy's safety he meant it, and that's why Tommy abandoning him hurt so much. He _cared_. Technoblade _cared_. And in return all he got was hurt. It had been proven time and time again that every time Techno even considered caring for someone that they would use him for their own personal gain and then turn their back on him as if he was the heartless one. He'd done some pretty fucked up things, but he would never betray anyone he was close to, and Tommy was practically _family_ , he wouldn't have even _dreamed_ of betraying him, hence his total honesty about his plans to decimate L'Manburg. Techno has one rule, and it's to never betray his family. If only Tommy returned that same sentiment.

Doomsday was the final straw. After so long of believing Tommy changed, that he finally came to his senses about the awful things his own friends had done to him, he went back to their side. So Techno snapped. He was being the weapon, the tool used to win wars that didn't concern him, used to get gear and items that would just be stolen the second the people using him got bored of his company. Techno had never liked Dream. They were civil, but never friendly, and that type of relationship is one Techno definitely favoured at that time. He had Phil by his side, and Dream was god knows where doing something nefarious no doubt, so Techno did what everyone knew he did best. He hurt. He destroyed. He was everything everyone branded him as, all that and more, because after so long of being used repeatedly and not listened to he'd had enough. Tommy was as guilty as he was, he just hid behind a façade of righteousness and everyone ate it up like he was the gospel. He wasn't the gospel, though, he was a war torn kid with a hero complex who, after everything, still was too naïve to ever fully understand the consequences of his actions. Once Doomsday was over Techno was done. No more would he let people into his heart unless they extensively proved themselves to him. He couldn't deal with the anguish.

Technoblade _cared_. But in the end it just fucked him over.

**Author's Note:**

> hi ! im link, im an 18 year old nonbinary college student from england and writing is one of my favourite hobbies so i love posting to make other people happy!
> 
> my twitter is @ORPHANBLADE if you want to give me a follow!


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